confusion

her: we should have a shirt
her: that instructs on how to open an ICAN
me: hey, i like that
me: hahahah
her: yeah, that's cool huh
me: i like shirts that actually can be read like a paragraph you know...
her: we should have a picture of an CAN that has "ICAN" on it
her: then ways to open it
me: hmmm
her: the CAN can have ICAN and logo
her: and then we can have a can opener
me: you crack me up
me: i hereby appoint you the official jester of my foolish court
her: awww
her: i think that's a badass idea
her: ICAN CAN can have little fine print on it...that says, dream, inspire, learn, etc...
her: awww
her: i'd totally go for it
her: if i were uy
her: if i were u art director!
me: well, you seem to sneak your way into art directing me quite effectively so far, haven't you?
me: you are funny. you are so observant yet sometimes there are things you miss
her: there are things i miss, like what?
her: key me in...
me: in time dear, in time
me: patience have you must
her: oh come on
her: help me along the way
her: so i'm less retarded
her: cuz i so am
her: okay, okay, CAN idea for ICAN was bad
her: what do i miss
her: ?
me: the can idea is a great idea
me: i really think it is cute and clever and to the point
me: i'm not telling you today. you just have to be patient
me: just like i was persistent and not impatient in the strange way i've gotten to know you
her: #:-S
me: hahah
me: hate your own medicine huh horse?
her: "understanding like water can flow, can pentrate."
her: "views, knowledge, and even wisdom are solid, and can block the way of understanding."
her: thich nhat hanh
her: thanks for your understanding
me: wow
me: what do you mean thanks for you understanding? you mean me understanding you? do i?
her: i meant, for putting up wih me
her: and my ways
me: of course firefly
me: when i first met you, i knew i would put up with you regardless
me: i have good intuition about things like that
her: hahaha
her: cool
her: glad we're friedns
her: friends
me: yes, i am too
me: who ever would have thought i would meet such a friend at temple. heck i don't even go to temple before ican
her: and know you have a handful of friends
me: yup
me: life is full of mysteries and when i think i'm finished with being confused by one, it gives me another
me: heheh
her: what are you confused about?
me: nothing specific right now, but i'm sure there is something
me: well, that is not totally true
me: there are lots of things to be confused about they just aren't currently on deck in my mind
her: you are confused
her: you are confused about being confused
her: hahahhaha
her: OMG, that is so funny
her: keep reading what you wrote to me
me: yes i know
me: if you only knew the extent of the rest or the subject matter
me: heheh
her: you're crazy
her: i'm convinced
her: !
me: and you then...?
me: is that why we get along?

counting the hours

until the wanderlust is to be quenched and then to return to a new living situation sans crazy housemates. i pray that i don't spread bad karma...

destination: vietnam. the old country. and i'll be traveling with a monk! don't be surprised if i come back head shaved!

the shape of you

"You'll get over it...' It's the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life forever. You don't get over it because 'it' is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The articularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?" – J. Winterson

confusion

i step forward, i trip backward. sometimes in the presence of someone you are amazed at, all your sensibilities and preparations dissolve into thin air. all those rehearsals you run through in your head seem not to engage. how does it happen? i don't know. sometimes all it is is a smile, a deft grin. all your rules that you have set up for yourself fades like the brush strokes on a john singer sargent painting. somewhere between the bold stroke of something solid to the gossamer indication of a smile you find yourself lost, lost to something amazing but you can't quite describe. so is your fate...your eyes reflect the thing that you desire and the shape of your heart is molded in the form of another....